If I Had But One Wish…

“I wish he was closer to me in proximity. I wish I could share more of my life with him. I wish he could share more of his life with me. I wish I could be there for him everytime he needs me. I wish he could be here with me every single second. I wish we weren’t so far apart. I wish that it wouldn’t take so long before we can finally be together. I wish that we could just throw caution to the wind. I wish we could ignore the necessity to be practical. I wish that being apart wasn’t so painful. I wish I could miss him less. I wish I could be less selfish. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could be more patient. I wish that money wasn’t so important or so scarce. I wish time could fly faster. I wish there weren’t so many obstacles. I wish someone would invent a teleporter. I wish phone companies wouldn’t charge so much for long distance calls. I wish we’d met earlier. I wish he hadn’t made the decision to move away. I wish I hadn’t made the decision to move away as well. I wish my decision was flawed. I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish time could stand still whenever we’re together. I wish we weren’t so happy when we are together, because that makes being apart hurt like crazy. I wish I could get used to the fact that this was a concious choice. I wish the hurt wouldn’t escalate each time either of us had to leave. I wish the distance wasn’t so material, so much so that each individual kilometre on the highway signboards feels like a thousand miles. I even wish we hadn’t met, that I didn’t fall in love with him, that he didn’t love me back. I wish love didn’t make people so desperate. I wish I wish I wish… I wish a million wishes… but they’re all the same… I wish we could be together because the distance tears me apart…”

*sigh*

I’m sorry you had to read that… and I’m also sorry that I’ve not blogged in a long long time… I guess its been all the work on hand, the proximity to my friends and the fact that I am no longer chained to the computer for 8 straight hours with nothing much to do… My sincere apologies to those who’ve dropped by and expected more than a stagnant page…

This term has been somewhat hectic, with stress levels hitting an all time high… I guess its the pressure of trying to make the cut for a cum laude degree when I finally graduate next May… I am trying to effect some balance, but subconciously, I’m still really anxious… Been having sleepless nights and all sorts of other stress indicators… I guess its also because life this term has mostly been focused on school work and lacks the usual variety that I’m used to, so I don’t have sufficient distractions away from the pressure…

Anyway… I logged on with a nagging feeling that I just needed to express before going back to study for my Psychology test this Saturday… so adios and I’ll write again when I get some time…

To my friends/family: If I haven’t spoken to you in a very long time, I miss you… so give me a call and lets talk… if you’ve lost my number theres always msn and email okie… don’t be stranger!!