A Song For The Soul

Superman – Five For Fighting 

I cant stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…Im more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
Its not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Ill never see

It may sound absurd…but dont be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but wont you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Its not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
Its all right…you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I cant stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men werent meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And its not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm…

Its not easy to be me…..

I’m Fucked Up…

I am…

Pink – Don’t Let Me Get Me Lyrics

I never win 1st place
 I don't support the team
 I can't take direction
 And my socks are never clean
 Teachers dated me
 My parents hated me
 I was always in a fight
 'Cause I can't do nothing right

 Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
 I can't take the person staring back at me

 I'm a hazard to myself
 Don't let me get me
 I'm my own worst enemy
 It's bad when you annoy yourself
 So irritating
 Don't want to be my friend no more
 I wanna be somebody else
 I wanna be somebody else

 LA told me
 You'll be a pop star
 All you have to change
 Is everything you are
 Tired of being compared
 To damn Britney Spears
 She's so pretty
 That just ain't me

 So doctor doctor won't you please prescribe me something
 A day in the life of someone else

 Cuz I'm a hazard to myself
 Don't let me get me
 I'm my own worst enemy
 It's bad when you annoy yourself
 So irritating
 Don't want to be my friend no more
 I wanna be somebody else

^C^

If I Had But One Wish…

“I wish he was closer to me in proximity. I wish I could share more of my life with him. I wish he could share more of his life with me. I wish I could be there for him everytime he needs me. I wish he could be here with me every single second. I wish we weren’t so far apart. I wish that it wouldn’t take so long before we can finally be together. I wish that we could just throw caution to the wind. I wish we could ignore the necessity to be practical. I wish that being apart wasn’t so painful. I wish I could miss him less. I wish I could be less selfish. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could be more patient. I wish that money wasn’t so important or so scarce. I wish time could fly faster. I wish there weren’t so many obstacles. I wish someone would invent a teleporter. I wish phone companies wouldn’t charge so much for long distance calls. I wish we’d met earlier. I wish he hadn’t made the decision to move away. I wish I hadn’t made the decision to move away as well. I wish my decision was flawed. I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish time could stand still whenever we’re together. I wish we weren’t so happy when we are together, because that makes being apart hurt like crazy. I wish I could get used to the fact that this was a concious choice. I wish the hurt wouldn’t escalate each time either of us had to leave. I wish the distance wasn’t so material, so much so that each individual kilometre on the highway signboards feels like a thousand miles. I even wish we hadn’t met, that I didn’t fall in love with him, that he didn’t love me back. I wish love didn’t make people so desperate. I wish I wish I wish… I wish a million wishes… but they’re all the same… I wish we could be together because the distance tears me apart…”

*sigh*

I’m sorry you had to read that… and I’m also sorry that I’ve not blogged in a long long time… I guess its been all the work on hand, the proximity to my friends and the fact that I am no longer chained to the computer for 8 straight hours with nothing much to do… My sincere apologies to those who’ve dropped by and expected more than a stagnant page…

This term has been somewhat hectic, with stress levels hitting an all time high… I guess its the pressure of trying to make the cut for a cum laude degree when I finally graduate next May… I am trying to effect some balance, but subconciously, I’m still really anxious… Been having sleepless nights and all sorts of other stress indicators… I guess its also because life this term has mostly been focused on school work and lacks the usual variety that I’m used to, so I don’t have sufficient distractions away from the pressure…

Anyway… I logged on with a nagging feeling that I just needed to express before going back to study for my Psychology test this Saturday… so adios and I’ll write again when I get some time…

To my friends/family: If I haven’t spoken to you in a very long time, I miss you… so give me a call and lets talk… if you’ve lost my number theres always msn and email okie… don’t be stranger!!

life.

school.courses.class.work.stress.

tuesday.wednesday.thursday.friday.services marketing.strategic brand management.psychology.change management.

tests.projects.readings.textbooks.meetings.cases.professors.

brands.dell.airasia.tigerbeer.starbucks.ben&jerrys.marriott. 

gym.diet.hip-hop.latino-jam.yoga.sweat.back.abs.butt.thigh.ache.exercise.

trip.home.family.the-boy.grandma.twins.cancelled.

computer.crashed.

life.sucks.

Faaaaar Ouuuuut….

Hi All,

Yes!!!!!! I’m Back!!! =) I know I promised to write during the hols… but somehow everything just happened and I ended up not even checking on my email throughout the duration, with the exception of one or two times.. sigh… and i thought having broadband at home will enable me to stay connected… =) I guess I just forgot the fact that given a choice of interacting personally or virtually, I always end up doing the former… was really spending tons of time with family and friends while back in KL…. and I missed everyone in sg really badly too… especially all my gfs… and tere in particular… by the time the end of 5 weeks rolled around, I was really eager to get back already… and trust me… thats a first!! =) Another first was that I was missing singapore food already… the nasi lemak and sting ray in whampoa, satay at lau pa sat… and all the delish jap food… so am really glad to be back… 

Bulk of of my time home was spent with my sis at the gym, shopping, doing girly stuff… babysitting the twins at my aunts place… I miss them so much now… they are absolute absolute sweeties…. I was also spending most of the first three weeks home with [the boy]… well… ermm… i think I’ve probably got to clear the air on this one… the boy and I both realised [ after a long drawn out, miserable time] that its easier being together and working things out than being apart… we are just too miserable without each other… so we’re going to work everything out as it comes along.. and really stick to it… hopefully everything will be okie… we’re both really excited about a future together.[will elaborate in a further blog entry]… so pray for us will you… =) I also had the opportunity to catch up with my gf Sarah from sec school days… and we had a great time gassing about old times on our one outing and a really cool impromptu trip to penang… which of course… included the boy being our tour guide as usual… we all had a great time… photo updates when i get my hand on the pixes okie…

Right smack in the second week of school now… as I as saying earlier… am extermely happy to be back in the fold of my friends but feeling slightly cooped up already… I guess 4 years of uni is one year too many… well anyways… as I was telling the boy… its only 30 more weeks… sigh… i guess its just the anticipation of life beyond the classroom thats making me jumpy… i don’t know what the future holds but I sure am ready for it… =)

anyways… its almost one and I have pschology class tomorrow so i’ll sign out now…

love you all… yes… all of u who visit even though the pages haven’t moved ever since ever…

see u soon..

love.

^C^

Oooppsss…

Big FAT MISTAKE!!

The link leading to my malayblog in the entry ‘By Way of Update’ is wrong-lar!!

Thanks Tere for spotting it… =)

Sidebar blogroll has the correct link under TDT,Mine but will put it here for posterity’s sake… *wink*

www.bb2006tersesatdikalatranslasi.wordpress.com - go hit me…

Oh yes… btw… new links in blogroll… announcing Sha, Mel, Lionel, Ridz and Charlene… do hit them too.. =)

Love,

^C^

A Shower In A Draught…

Hey all,

I can’t believe I haven’t been posting for 9 (NINE) WHOLE DAYS!! UuuurGhhhzzz… My apologies…

Things have just been a little crazy at work, have been trying to churn out my internship report… thankfully, thats done now… but it probably proves that I can only write one thing at a time… DARN! have also been trying to organize everything so that the handover to the next intern will be smooth…

In the whole flurry of activity… last week just went by in a blur…

Weekend was great though… =) Saturday started early with the debrief at NYC for the MSYC 11th Team… where we also celebrated July Babies B’days for Li Ling, Din, Hazel & Shi May… The photos and videos from camp were great… though am still waiting for my copy of the complete but censored set from sonya… meeting proper wrapped up at close to 1… after which we adjourned to TCC in Cineleisure for a lot of fun gassing and joking… you really can’t imagine the amount of noise!! wooot… was sitting on one end of the table with lionel, mel, ridz, sha, yan yan and desmond… and making so much noise laughing and telling dirty jokes that the girls gave us piercing stares… *hee*

shot off at around 3 for lunch… was dying of hunger by then… wanted to go to sakura cafe for the singapore beehoon… but the one in Peninsula Plaza disappeared!! so had to settle for Pastamania… gobbled lunch quickly and then headed home to prep for Sharon’s concert with Teresa and Salamath… *will post pictures of this and elaborate when Baoqin can download them to her comp… Lau Pa Sat after the concert for Satay and Western Food… and Honeydew Noodle for Salamath… =) crashed into bed after sending Salamath home…

For some reason… I had woken up by 9+ a.m. on Sunday morning as well… urghh… disgusting… flopped around in the house doing absolutely nothing of importance till ron popped by at 4 and we went to suki for our usual sushi buffet… Turns out there was nothing usual about this buffet… coz we got there at 4.30 and last order and buffet closing was at 5 and 5.30 respectively… resulting in us having to order and eat like the Japanese bullet train… embarrassingly… we couldn’t finish the food… urrghhhzz… so we had to tell them to charge us for wastage… sigh… thankfully they only charged us $6.80 extra… which is not too bad lar har… =)

In our horribly bloated state we went to SIM LIM SQUARE to get me an external hard disk… ended up with a 200GB Maxtor for $189 and two games… Virtua Cop & Family Feud… for 9.90 each…  was so so so tempted to buy more stuff… sigh… *tech whore me*

Got home to wait for tere while transferring data… [comp is now at school CIT being re-formatted and fixed up...] and then proceeded to our usual bowling spot for our bowling date… amazingly… we didn’t do too badly, even after a long hiatus… Teresa got her first strike and I got my first TURKEY *FLAPFLAPFLAP* !!! After da-baoing mcdonalds for supper, we headed home.. ate and slept… hehehehe… was contemplating getting up to watch the finals but hehe… decided against it lar… there wasn’t really a team I was supporting anyway…

Monday again was spent finishing up the report… which I finally got done just before 6… Was going to hand it in on Tuesday morning but had a really bad tummy upset so didn’t go in to work… still had phone calls from people at the office though… (glad to know I’m missed) my chat kaki aH BET din make it either… hehehe poor girl had sore eyes…

Spent the day sleeping away… and visiting the loo… then finally hauled myself out of bed to go for a movie… ‘The King and the Clown’… which was REALLY nice… =)

Small errands and stuff yday at work… and updating my Malay Bloggie… the highlight of my day was actually getting an email from a Berita Harian journalist who was interested in writing an article about Bahasa Month and happened to come by our blogs… so spent some time replying to her email and posting in TDT as well… =) Its really exciting to see how well received TDT is… compared to myopiclens… but I guess that TDT is really different from your average blog… of which myopiclens is lar… readership for TDT reached an all time high yday… with almost 40 readers…!!! woot!

Still, had promised myself I’d devote time to this blog today… so here I am writing this extremely long winded post… [i know... i know... which of my entries not long ar..?] Hope you guys did miss me… and do click here more often okie…

Love,

^C^

P.S.: The boy and I are now really just [the boy] and [i]… it hurts periodically… especially when I suddenly get a flashback… or think about my travel plans and remember that I need to change them… its kinda like a part of your life is suddenly missing… but as TC says… time will heal…

meantime… I’m getting lots of love from everyone else… tere bought me a cute piggie yday… =) and ron has been even more of an angel… I’ll just have to hang in there… thankfully… will be with family soon…

Great meals are in order for the next two days…. have lunch dates and dinner dates all lined up… either to celebrate the end of my internship or just a meet up before I go home… so its going to be great fun… =) and don’t worry… will keep my chin up… theres lots more love in the world… and I’m sure… some of it is going to be mine…

In another world…

Hey all,

As per previous post… I’ve been channelling my creative writing energies into my malay blog in the past two days, both as an entry for a blogging competition in conjunction with Malay Language Month and also to pick my Malay language usage skills back up… Am quite ashamed that I’ve let my command of my first language slip so far… Two posts in that blog took almost 6 hours collectively, and also extensive use of an English-Malay dictionary online… it has been quite a bit of a struggle really… and I’m not proud of it…

I’ve known for quite some time now that my malay is getting worse and worse… its really evident when i try to speak it back home in Malaysia but I just found out how bad it really is… I can’t string together a coherent sentence anymore… and lets not talk about SPM Level Malay standards… I probably sound like a Primary 3 kid… *SIGHZ* I did have plans to re-start reading malay papers… but the last time i read an article, i found myself looking for a dictionary… this is really a far cry from how it used to be 6 years ago… I used to do really well, as well as I did in English… and even wrote creatively in the school magazine before… but now…sigh…

I have Hazrul to thank for this major kick in the butt to join the competition… hopefully it will go well… He’s also in the competition and also writes in english at typecanvas.com… do check him out… It’s been really encouraging so far… coz readership at the other blog (lets call it tdt… thats the address… Tersesat Dikala Translasi *Lost In Translation*) was at 16 even on its first day… its been hit 6 times already as of now, and my second post was only up about 3 hours ago… I’ve also already got two comments, one from Hazrul and one from Zakiah… *thanks guys*

I guess languages really must be practiced and used… or else it just all goes away… so I’m going to make it a point to post once a day on the malay blog as well… although since its going to be time consuming, posts here may not be so regular… but I will try okay… theres an old meme I’m dying to do… been meaning to work on that since forever, and also pass it around to my friends to do as well… it’ll be interesting!!

Oh yes, speaking about friends, its ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!! Our dear Miss Tai Simin, after going MIA for so long, has been actually hatching her own blog… and here it is… www.bebur.wordpress.com … Congrats girl and well done!! The rest of you, do go read it okie…

Oh! and a little about my life after getting back from my trip (just in case you are interested)… everything has been okay, though its been an exhausting trip, which resulted in me crashing into bed early two nights in a row… and having an uncomfortable pressure in my ears from the flight even 24 hours after getting off it… *sigh* I guess I’m destined to be a bus and train girl huh?

Anyways looking forward to the next two weeks being quite quiet and relaxing before I finish my internship and go home to nanny Aidan and Caitlin… Sms-ed Lai Yee for an update just now… and was told that ‘Babies are good and hungry while parents are exhausted… but we’re all home now…’ =) Am so looking forward to spending time with them… highly anticipated events of this week are my Project Runway show tomorrow evening, hopefully a movie date to use up the free tickets, the debriefing session for MSYC 11th on Sat morning and Sharon’s concert in the evening, and washing ron’s car on sunday…!! With any luck, this week and next will go whoooooshhh… and I’ll make the same noise going off home…

Will leave you on that note then…

Taz,

^C^

By way of update…

Updates here today…

www.bb2006tersesatdikalatranslasi.wordpress.com

erm… for those who don’t understand, I’m joining a Malay Language blogging competition…

explanation and translations when I can okay…

Love,

^C^

Competition is the name of game…

Blogging from a HUGE ASS foodcourt in Puchong where the boy and I are watching England vs. Portugal… It’s now 42 minutes into the game and already there have been a couple of scares…

I’ve been computer-less for the past three days, which explains the lack of updates… the necessity to travel light for the official visit resulted in me not getting to bring my own lappie down back home, so am now using the boy’s really really really S-L-O-W lappie to get my neccessary dose of the net…

The past few days have been excellent… with me beginning my thursday at 4a.m. and arriving at the VIP complex of Changi Airport at 5.30a.m… checking in and passport clearance was virtually non-existent to me as we were comfortably ensconced in the Anthurium Room with its coffee machine and well stocked drinks fridge… until we were told to board at ard 6.05… had a little trouble at the security gate *blush factor* when the metal detector actually sensed the coins I’d accidentally left in my pocket after the taxi ride… *hee* settled that quickly and proceeded to the plane where the stewardesses actually took the trouble to remember our names… *gasp* hehehe… it was a gratifying experience… though it felt a little weird to be addressed as ‘Ms. Chen’ all the time e.g.: Ms. Chen would you like coffee or tea? Mango juice or orange juice? Ms. Chen would you like the Straits Times? Have a nice flight Ms. Chen! etc…

The flight was pretty uneventful after that and we hardly realised that 45 minutes had passed so quickly until the pilot made his landing announcement… we grabbed our luggage and got off, only to be whisked off once again to the VIP rooms of the KLIA for a 10 minute washroom break before proceeding to the hired vehicles which would take us to IYC, Cheras…

Was really excited to see the team again but had to do the neccessary brown-nosing and rubbing of soulders with the officials before I was allowed to join the team… Suffice to say that everything went really well for them… and that the performances we ONE OF A KIND!! The officials were seen off once again after lunch, and the team prepared to leave as well… There was hardly a dry eye in the room by the time goodbyes were properly exchanged and the team boarded the bus… =) I guess thats all the feedback necessary about the camp…

The boy was there to pick me up after (with a pretty bouquet and wearing the nicest smile..)… though he had to wait almost 2 hours before I was ready to go… =) [erm... we're back at experimental stage now, and everything is going a-okay so far... i guess just being physically together is like half the healing done already... we'll see how it goes from here and decide again... but wish us good luck yar?]

shot straight off to lunch as we were  both starving, [my fave soy sauce chicken rice!!!] and then went off to grab a pressie for my aunt before stopping to visit her and the twins (they have been named this morning… so welcome Aidan and Caitlin Lung!!) They are both totally adorable though Caitlin is still in special care because she’s a little smaller than Aidan… but still a little dynamite in her own right… =)

Day came to a nice end with dinner with my parents and sis and the babies’ new daddy and grandma and then it was off home to pick up luggage from the boy and crash into bed…

Had a late start to Friday after sleeping really late for a change, lunch was Klang Bah Kut Teh with the boy after which we popped by the hospital once again to see the new mummy and her babies… highlight of the day was carrying Aidan in my arms and coo-ing to him… *love at first sight* Left the hospital to go to dinner with Sarah (whom I’ve not met up with since 2003) and the boy at TGIFridays… (fajitas and margaritas!! woooooH!) where we spent so much time gassing and gossiping…

adjourned to catch the germany vs. argentina match at a freaking hot kopitiam after sending sarah home.. the game was really long, which wasn’t great bcoz it was really uncomfortable in the sweltering place… urghzzz… got home at almost 3 and found the sis still up and on the phone… but fell asleep b4 i could give two hoots… *hehehehe*

slept in again till mom got back from breakfast and her morning errands and then went off to Low Yat and Sungei Wang for retail and food therapy (huge jap food buffet) hehehehe after which we braved the jam to go home and get the sis’ konyakku jellies prepared for her school carnival.. a quick din din (black mee and horfun) later and here we are!! now at the 77th minute of the game but with the lappie batt juices running dry…

got to say ciao for now… but photos later kayz!!!

muacks!!

^C^